Tha Zin Re-reading, revising, editing and re-crafting our work

Before

Once upon a time there was a horse named

Sue she was a normal casual horse

you would ever see in a farm.

She had bright blue eyes and was

bay coloured she was abandoned

ever since she was 4 months old

unfortunately her mother was sick

and passed away and her father

was took to a farm and it was only Sue herself.

After

Once upon a time there was a horse

named Sue, she was a normal casual Horse.

She had bright blue eyes and was

bay coloured. She was abandoned

ever since she was 4 months old,

unfortunately her mother was sick and

passed away and her father was taken to a

farm and it was only Sue on her own.